morphine_moniza

It must be so nice being as strong as Ryan from SYTYCD. I wish I could magically become that strong. I'd walk around feeling invincible and opening jam jars and coke bottles.

 

morphine_moniza

The embassy makes me want to throw up and die. I'm so angry at them. I can't believe those morons are doing this to me for no freaking reason whatsoever. I am a singaporean citizen and I deserve the same treatment as all of my friends who got their visas it two effing days. The fuckers are sitting on their lazy asses and enjoying their freaking christmases after completely destroying all my plans. I would hope that they would eat bad turkey and die except it would probably slow down the paperwork even more. Oh my god why have they not been replaced by more effecient robots yet. They do't deserve jobs. Any person who thinks I could possibly be a terrorist is obviously deranged.

morphine_moniza

I just packed my bag for SEP. I don't know why I did it, I felt a sudden compulsion to get it over with. But now I'm going to really feel like crap if the Visa doesn't arrive in time and I have to unpack again. But at least my room is much cleaner now. I feel less horrible. I'm also going to get my various shots tomorrow, just in case. There's no harm if I end up not going. I also have to collect my module mapping paperwork. I've been putting everything off because of the Visa thing.

Oh today I found out that there's another student going through the same thing as me, some guy whose name is Mohammad. So now I know for a fact I'm being discriminated against because I was born a muslim. Assholes.

morphine_moniza

I've had a pretty bad day. I went for my visa application with a bunch of friends. They're all getting their visas on friday but my passport was handed back to me because I am a "special case". Which is basically a euphimism for the fact that I was born a muslim. So my visa application is currently still pending. They made me fill out a form about my non-existent "military training", a form usually only filled out by boys who've done NS. This is my first official encounter with institutionalised discrimination. I've felt like shit pretty much the whole day, even though I tried to make myself feel better with some retail therapy. But this was constantly at the back of my mind as a sick reminder of the horrible world we live in, where prejudiced stereotyping is part of basic protocol. I've never hurt a single person in my life, I don't even believe in God but I'm being victimised for the arbitary accidents of my ancestry.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I will get the Visa since there's absoluetly no reason for them to reject me. But instead of this being a pleasant experience, they've turned it into a life lesson. And the lesson is, I never, ever want to work in the US. The place is obviously very screwed up. I am better off out of it. Their loss.

Unfortunately the delayed Visa is probably going to affect my travle plans. Here are the possible repercussions:

1. If the visa is not given to me by the 24th of this month I'm not going to be able to travle to newyork with my friends. That means I'll have a very long and lonely flight by myself, including a transition period in HomgKong alone. Also I might have to go to our apartment in Newyork alone from the airport, an experience I am not going to relish.

2. I might not even go to newyork if the Visa is delayed too much. There's no point going for just a few days. Anyway I don't want to help their economy with my cash. It's officially my least favourite country in the world now.

3. They reject me altogether, I endup staying in singapore and not having any modules next semester because I haven't done the module preallocation.

I'm sick to my stomach, I really am. They should put this on the website. Just openly admit that they are bigotted fucks. I went in expecting equal treatment. I would have been much better prepared if I had known they were going to do this to me.

morphine_moniza

I finished all my module mapping and went to school only to find out my sep coordinator is on leave. Hurray. I don't even know if I have any of those modules because the woman who's supposed tp help me has not emailed me back. My account is apparently bouncing emails so maybe she can't even reach me. That could also be why my sep coordinator has not replied my email. My life is glorious. My parents are being very annoying about the fact that I'm going to newyork with a bunch of guys. The concept of homosexuality does not exist in their universe. gah. For the record, alisha and natasha are going on this trip with us. that's right. As is my very close friend helen.

I'm so stressed. I'm going to take a shower and make a fairy.

I must contrive to take a photo with Helen somehow.

Instead of goig to all this trouble to study in a different geographical location, I could have just taken a fraction of the money and bought a brand new laptop, with a properly functioning microsoft word. I can't even imagine a world with a working microsoft word. It must be so heavenly.

Anyway, I found time to get some shopping done today as well. Am fully furnished with toiletries, and have bought enough of the special products I use to last three months. Have also bought four more tights, three pairs of socks and two cardigans to layer. I have decided to ditch my cabin luggage for an unglam, but much more practical backpack. I need to buy the backpack and boots. And then I'll be done. I might just buy a woolen pullover if I find a nice one. Then the shopping will be finished. I must start packing. But first I'll make a fairy.

oh god i have yet to procure special US-sized photos for the special US embassy, which I will have to stick on all the lovely special forms I've had to fill out. I hate visas.

I don't think I'll club on wednesday. Clubbing will just contribute to my stress. Just too much on top of everything. I must refrain. I need my wits about me to survive the barrage of paperwork. It' s my own personal perfect storm. But if anyone wants to meet me for some nice sedate drinks, or possibly lunch, let me know.

morphine_moniza

I am so incredibly exhausted. I spent the whole day shopping, and I've lopped off most of my hair. It really doesn't make a difference. My hair's going to be crappy regardless of length.

Anyway, I have bought a big suitcase and a cabin luggage and my dad has forced me to buy some winter wear. I bought a pair of lovely leather gloves, some cashmere socks and a fluffy woolen scarf, and a rather thin and overpriced cardigan. I'm very annoyed I bought the cardigan. I had to buy it just to prevent my father from forcing a turtle-necked pullover-type monstrosity on me.

I have no idea how I'm going to manage my ginormous bags. My cabin luggage is suspiciously large. I hope it doesn't get rejected or something. I don't know how I'm going to even get it up into the locker. It's such a handicap being short.

Anyway, I still have not bought tinted moisturiser. I need to go to sephora and get some. I tried Tangs and it was terrible. None of the cosmetics counters had tinted moisturizer. Will boycot Tangs in protest.

I also need to buy more tights, will probably buy from uniclo. I badly need to go to the Ion.

I need to buy a bunch of fluffy socks that are a bit thinner than the cashmere socks.

I still haven't bought boots, though I found a lovely pair at Zara, Will look around somemore before I buy though, I need to get the right pair. I intend to get a lot of use out of everything I buy.

Today was pretty productive, all things considered. I completed that horrible sevis form nonsense for the visa application.

Tomorrow I shall tackle module mapping. I want to kill myself just thinking about it. Life is dreary and bleak in a world filled with paperwork. I wish I could run away and live in a forest. I would make faries with mud and meditate.

I have realised I hate shopping with my parents because of my mother. She walks really slowly and gets distracted by random shiny things. It's infuriating when I'm in nazi shopping mode. I shop in a very regimental way, according to a pre-determined list. I nearly popped a vessel when my mom wandered off in the middle of cosmetics shopping to buy radishes. RADISHES!

gah I don't want to go to sleep because then I'll have to wake up and module map. sleeping makes the next day come so much faster.

morphine_moniza

I've entered a scary zone replete with paperwork. I find myself in a horrifying alternate reality where I have to confront and overcome forms with chillingly numerical titles like DS5087464. Or I will be swept away in a storm of paperwork, never to be seen again. Unless you happen to look for me in a ditch in a particularly shady part of Mexico, where I will probably be drowning my ineptness in tequila.

My brain can't function in these conditions. I find myself floundering in cyberspace looking for random pointless forms which are somehow very crucial. And technology is screwing itself up just to spite me. My email account has started bouncing emails for no reason whatsoever. I literally have less than ten emails saved in the whole of my account. Even my deeted emails folder is empty. It's unbearably frustrating, because if ever I needed a functioning email it's now, in this barrage of paperwork. I'm so stressed I'm losing hair.